Thursday, June 3, 2010

making up for it

sorry for my absence, ive had time to go on, just nothing interesting to say really. its weird, my house is silent, just the way i like it. my sisters gone for a retreat all weekend and the house is virtually empty of food. i usually hate cookies, especially chips ahoy, but the other day my mom bought a really good organic kind that didn't look like crap so i was tempted. for 2 days i held off but on tuesday night i gave in and had 8 100 calorie cookies. the funny thing is the first couple were good and totally worth it but being that i haven't had cookies in about a year i scarfed down all of them and began to feel sick, afterwards i purged but lucky me, the apple i had before came out (srry tmi haha). but i made up for it the next day, i wasn't even hungry so i just had 400 calories for dinner which made the same regular 1200 for the day. lately my appetite has been decreasing, food seems more like a chore and im loving it, i couldnt bring myself to eat anything this afternoon so i had a smoothie, for the sake of not ending up in the hospital again i putting off going under 1200. call it recovering, i really dont care, but being that im still losing weight i doubt thats considered recovering. i kinda even enjoy eating 1200 because i have rarely have urges to binge, i just live on an extremely stringent diet plan. the bonus? being vegan gives me the BEST skin! last year i had to wear soo much makeup which didnt even cover it up, yesterday i went to class with NOTHING on:)

i discovered even more thinspo videos on youtube, if you havent already been on the annawillpower channel i totally recommend it, theres TONS of videos on everything from anorexia, to weight loss, to diet fads:)my new fav obsession is that british show from supersize to superskinny, its really interesting!

so lifes quite boring and i better get to studying for my government exam next tuesday:/ im currently loving the blogging community. i read all the blogs but rarely comment, if im on too long my parents might become suspicious.
starve on-chloe

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