F MY LIFE!!!

sorry that i haven't been on lately, yatta yatta yatta, lifes been boring, suckish, and repetitive. ive been sticking to the same 1200 regime and today i am afraid i screwed myself...
its not like i binged, i just made the stupid mistake of assuming the amount of calories in olives was lower than i thought...i went to lun ch at jasons delis and got the salad bar with all the low cal vegetables...my mistake?kalamata olives have 40 calories in one 2 olive serving!! wtf? i ate like 10? 8? 12? more or less, i didnt count!! mistake number two!! i feel FAT FAT FAT, i looked up the nutritionals and the specific said the content was ALL FAT. ughhh...so i figured im somewhat safe being that at the most my salad totaled to around 400 calories and i ate 280 calories this morning of a small apple and 2 light natures owns wheat bread slices with 2 whole eggs, then, as a snack i had another small apple and 2 pieces of toast with 10 cal of 1/4 a cup of almond milk totaling 150 calories. jeez, counting calories can be sooo much work.

i need to vent: im tired, moody, angry, sad, depressed, i hate ana, i love ana, i hate ME, i hate my only friend, my world sucks right now and i feel like i am losing my mind, why have i not blogged??? BECAUSE, its the same, its prediactable and i honestly miss lifes unpredictableness..

so now i have the choice, to eat dinner or not, to consume 400 calories or not, do i really need to to make my 1200 goal when i feel THIS fat? idk...wish me luck-chloe