in hiding

sorry about the absence these last couple of days, i couldn't get to a computer but i promise ive stayed good :p ive even been able to sneak in some great workouts! everyday i go on 1 1/2 to 2 mile walks with my family and dogs but i dont figure it into my calories counting because everyone is supposed to exercise for a minimum of 30-60 minutes a day depending on the source.

last summer, when i was at my worst weight, i burned nearly 800 calories per day! it was amazing & i miss it so much but my parents wont get me a gym membership because they know about my cradybradia (slow heartbeat), but as far as they know, an environmental allergic reaction caused it (according to the useless doctors lol), i know the REAL reason.

so today i ran 2 miles at 9am and felt great:) after taking a shower and prolonging breakfast i ate a 120 calorie pear, 2 maple flavored vegetarian sausage patties from morningstar, and 2 light wheat nature's own 40 calorie bread with 20 calories of soymilk (mixed with no calorie vanilla flavoring and splenda it creates the best 100 calorie cereal)

when i came home from church i had another 120 calorie pear, 2 of the same kind of sausage patties, and another 120 calorie pear, lol

tip of the day: mustard heightens your metabolism by nearly 50 extra kcal's burned 1 hour afterwards, i had my veg sausage patties with mustard & they were delicious

so far, for dinner ive had about 150 calories altogether of mixed fruit and a 15 calories of a sugarfree watermelon paleta/popsicle, so ill probably have cereal and an apple later

i felt sooo full today but it defiantly wards off eating anything high calorie...

my biggest pet peeve: when my my or dad goes grocery shopping and gets the WORST high calories, high fat, DISGUSTING food, I WONT TOUCH IT, I REFUSE TO TOUCH IT---this is my mantra, ana telling me constantly to not break free and have that slice of cake "just once", because i know if i do, I.WILL.BECOME.FAT

i cannot wait to go to college and STARVE all i want and eat ritually ALL I WANT, i cannot wait to breathe and not be reminded of my abnormalities because honestly, I COULD CARE LESS. my family puts me on the brink of insanity sometimes, especially when these atrocities linger in the cabinets;

potato chips(grosss, NOT even tempted)
strawberry cake
peanut butter
crackers
macaroni and cheese
...& more,

i feel SICK just thinking about, ana knows, ana says NEVER to go there, and I WONT

stay strong
-chloe








"when average is not good enough"