twisting minds

you could say im nervous, im getting my sat scores tomorrow and being the perfectionist that i am my goal is to get a high enough score to be accepted to the ivy-leagues. im gonna wake up at 12:01 to see if my scores are released. anyhow, ive been super busy with school so ive decided that my posts will be random, not obligatory.

ive consistently been eating 1200 while slowly losing...probably 5 pounds in the last month, my dad is already noticing but i honestly dont give a crap, i hate my dad most of the time and i enjoy twisting his mind in confusion.

why would you want to look like one of those anorexic models?

because their beautiful.

why don't you have a piece of apple pie, it wont kill you.

obesity is one of leading causes of death in america, that 'piece' of apple pie will add up and suffocate my body in fat cells.

guys dont like stick thin girls.

guys dont like fat cows either and i dont care about the opinion of guys right now, i have no sex drive, especially in a town where 1 in 3 girl gets pregant before the end of high school..yes thats true.

i wish he would just shut up and dissapear sometimes, my dad is a loser wiht only a high school education, hes never been able to consistently support my family and hes immature, hes what makes me want to leave this godforsaken town even more than i already want to.

right now my sisters stuffing her face with a crunch bar and apple pie, i shouldn't be jealous, she should be, im not the one getting fat.

i feel enormous, like my stomach is about to burst, i hate eating, i hate food, i hate that my family is watching my like a hawk and making comments about my eating habits that i can clearly hear through these paper thin walls.

breakfast: natha

lunch: pear, 1 fake sausage pattie, 1/2 potato, 2 pieces of toast with soy milk

snack: 2 small apples, 70 calories vegan burger
dinner: pear, 2 pieces of toast 1/4 cup of black beans, 2 apples, 1 1/2 cups of fiber one

crap, moms coming, g2g
starve on
-chloe