do you ever question your sanity?
why don't i eat like everyone esle?
why don't i think like everyone esle?
why am i not normal?
whats wrong with me?
for the longest time ive always felt isolated from my surroundings, even questioning the realms of reality. i may never know if i am truly insane but when it comes to food i know i am truly disordered.
it is honestly laughable that some people assume people with anorexia and/or bulimia are unaware of there disorders. every person with an ed that i have ever met was educated and conscious of their ilness and its causes and symptoms. call it an illness, call it a lifestyle, call it whatever but the fact is if you have anorexia your NEVER getting out. whether recovered or not you will never TRULY be unattached from the grips of ana. its ALWAYS there.
in a sick way of thinking, im in love with ana, i treat her like a god up on a pedestal and i feel ashamed for it. i wish i would spend more time concentrating on other things like my faith in the catholic religion and friends and family but i just enjoy ana too much.
im a natural thrill seeker and the truth is that slowly starving myself makes me happy, in the end, i benefit from it, emotionally, physically, mentally, wrong or not...just thinking..
-chloe
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I feel the same as you. I always question my sanity and why I'm this way.
ReplyDeleteWe all wish we could focus on other things in life other than our weight.